Venue
SIGSEGV 2019 will be held at the Aperture Science Research Laboratory and Testing
Facility at Cornell University, also known as Gates Hall.
The Gates Testing Facility is Aperture's newest research and development
center, and the first to be constructed in partnership with a major
university. It contains over 400,000 square feet of office, laboratory, and
test chamber space (the vast majority underground), complete with
state-of-the-art computer technology and scientific instruments. The
facility's day-to-day operations are overseen by a highly advanced
experimental AI system, which greatly simplifies the management of such a
large research center.
While Aperture and Cornell have generously donated the use of some parts
of this facility for SIGSEGV '19, it remains an active laboratory and
experiments will be ongoing during the conference. In order to ensure smooth
cooperation between conference attendees and Aperture research, attendees
are advised to observe the following guidelines:
- Obey all instructions given by the facility's supervising AI
system.
- While you are free to observe the Aperture Science researchers at
work in their transparent offices, do not disturb them by tapping on the
glass walls.
- Do not consume any lemons found in or near the facility, as these
may be part of a current experiment on combustible lemons.
- In general, avoid looking at, touching, ingesting, or engaging in
conversation with experimental substances classified as “highly
dangerous.”
Transportation
Our conference venue is in Ithaca, NY, an exciting hub of research and
innovation conveniently located in rural upstate New York, only 5 hours from
the nearest international airport. There are a variety of inconvenient
methods you can use to travel to the conference:
- Air Transportation
- New York Airports: The nearest major airports are JFK and
LGA, which offer the usual assortment of domestic and international
flights at reasonable rates. However, after arriving you will need
to take a 5 to 6 hour bus ride from New York City to Ithaca (see
below), and in order to get on the bus you will need to spend at
least 45 minutes stuck in traffic while attempting to get from the
airport into the city.
- Syracuse “International” Airport: While
technically an international airport, Syracuse has a more limited
selection of flights, and flying here will probably involve at least
one layover. Also, public transportation from Syracuse to Ithaca has
been discontinued due to the Tyranny of Small Decisions.
- Ithaca/Tompkins Regional Airport: This airport is the
closest to the conference venue, located on the outskirts of Ithaca
and only an overpriced cab ride away from Cornell. However, there
are only 3 flights a day to this airport, and you must transfer at
Detroit, Philadelphia, or Newark. If you fly American and transfer
at Philadelphia, be prepared for long delays and possibly a missed
connection.
- Ground Transportation
- Rental Car: Regardless of the airport you choose, the
most flexible way to get to Ithaca is by renting a car. Even the
Ithaca/Tompkins airport has several major car rental companies
nearby, so this option is always available unless you are under 25.
Note that attempting to get from a NYC airport to the highway with a
car will probably be a nightmare, but at least you'll be able to
travel on your own schedule instead of the bus's.
- Campus to Campus bus service: Cornell provides a swanky
charter
bus service between Manhattan and the Ithaca campus.
Although it is more expensive than the Short Line bus ($180 round
trip), it has the advantage of providing free Wi-Fi and snacks, and
not being full of weird smelly people. Unfortunately, it only runs
twice a day on Saturdays, so it will be difficult to find a flight
that arrives in New York before the last bus departure.
- Short Line bus service: The Short Line/Coach USA bus
is cheaper and runs much more frequently than Cornell's bus
(including trips late in the evening). However, Short Line buses are
known for being wretched hives of scum and villainy, and you ride at
your own peril. Also, you still have to get from JFK into Manhattan
to get on a bus at the Port Authority, which will be a slow and
frustrating endeavor.
- Bicycle: Many Computer Science researchers at Cornell are
bicycle enthusiasts, and it's no surprise given the wide expanse of
flat, well-paved roads around Ithaca. To improve your health and fit
in with the CS community at our host institution, consider biking to
Ithaca from wherever you may find yourself.
- Aperture Science Nonstationary Platform: If you arrive at
the Ithaca airport, you may choose to participate in an experiment
testing the feasability of using Aperture Science Nonstationary
Platforms for local transportation in the vicinity of the Research
Laboratory and Testing Facility. An Aperture Science Nonstationary
Platform will be making regular, but unscheduled, translations
between a position outside the Ithaca airport and a position inside
the Testing Facility. Feel free to board the platform when it
arrives at the airport, and disembark at the Testing Facility. Note
that the weight capacity of the platform has not been tested beyond
100 kg, so passengers with heavier luggage may want to refrain from
using this feature.
- Underground Transportation
- Aperture Science Pneumatic Diversity Vent: In order to
facilitate the transportation of various Aperture Science products
between Aperture Laboratories locations, Aperture has recently
extended its pneumatic tube network to connect the Gates Testing
Facility and several other laboratories. If you live near one of
these Aperture Laboratories sites, you can travel to the conference
through an underground pneumatic tube. Simply present your SIGSEGV
registration to an Aperture Science employee at your nearest
Aperture Laboratories location, and he or she will assist you in
entering the nearest Pneumatic Diversity Vent if that location is
connected to the Gates Testing Facility. Please note that the
Aperture pneumatic tube system will be in use for its regular
transport duties during this time, and attendees are advised not to
touch or ingest any other substances traveling through the tube
network.
- Digging: Everyone knows that the shortest distance
between two points is a straight line, and a straight line through
the Earth is more efficient than any path traveling over its curved
surface. Demonstrate your superior knowledge of geometry by digging
a tunnel directly from your current location to Cornell's campus,
and arrive before those schmucks that took an airplane.
Accommodations
The official conference hotel is the Statler Hotel at Cornell
University, which is conveniently located across the street from the Gates
Testing Facility. However, since nobody on the Program Committee is friends
with any hotelies, we were unable to secure a block of rooms at a discounted
rate. Since the Statler is the most expensive hotel in Ithaca, this means
you probably can't afford to stay there, but if you don't stay at the
official conference hotel you will probably miss out on many conference
activities and have an inconvenient commute from some other hotel to the
conference venue. It's up to you to decide whether the convenience is worth
a month's paycheck on a meagre grad student stipend.
Although the Aperture Science Research Laboratory and Testing Facility
has a large number of comfortable lounge spaces, please note that sleeping
in the Testing Facility in an attempt to save money is not allowed. Any
conference attendees found sleeping within Aperture Science property outside
of conference hours will be assumed to be escaped test subjects, and
automatically returned to a testing chamber determined by our AI oversight
system.
Activities
Attendees will have free time before lunch on the 4th with which to
explore beautiful Ithaca and the exciting Aperture Science Testing Facility.
In addition, the conference will finish conveniently at 5:00, and attendees
are encouraged to take advantage of the many nearby bars to imbibe their
favorite beverages at that time. Here are some activities you may wish to
consider:
- Hiking the Gorge Trail: A scenic nature trail leads from
the south end of Cornell's campus to a quiet neighborhood downtown,
by way of one of Ithaca's famous gorges. Going from Cornell to
downtown is easy; going back the other direction involves climbing a
countably infinite number of stairs.
- Biking: Did we mention that certain members of the
Cornell CS community really like biking? They would be delighted if
you joined them on a leisurely 25-mile bike ride before or after the
conference.
- Aperture Laboratories Activities: Our hosts at Aperture
Science have graciously provided a number of fun activities that you
can partake in before or after the conference. These are all
conveniently located inside the Gates Testing Facility:
- Laboratory Tours. See the advanced scientific
instruments and research in progress in some of Aperture's
laboratories that are not being used for classified Defense
Department projects.
- Disturb the Fish. We told you not to bother the
researchers at work in the glass-walled offices; we lied. Come
on this tour to bother the scientists by tapping on the glass
and watch for the funniest reaction!
- Taste Testing. Try out some of our new experimental
dietary supplements, now that we're pretty sure they're
non-toxic.
- Test Chambers. One of Aperture's more famous
developments is the Aperture Science Portable Quantum Tunneling
Device, used to create instantaneous travel between two
locations while solving three-dimensional motion puzzles. Try
solving some of our Test Chambers yourself. Note: Aperture
Science is not responsible for any injury or death incurred
while pursuing an incorrect solution to a Test Chamber.